Co-parenting during COVID-19 Pandemic

 Co-parenting during the COVID-19 Pandemic may require more connection and discussion between you and your co-parent and it may require to negotiate some temporary agreements for your respective households. These aren't easy times. With some shared love for your children, some grace under pressure and a 'we're all in this together' attitude, you and your co-parent can have each other's backs during this crisis and safely parent your children. 

1. When discussing these issues with your co-parent, consider the following:

• Pick a time to talk that works for both of you and when children are not able to listen in (especially challenging when kids are home all the time these days);
• Before the discussion, get clear on your most important goals and concerns and invite your coparent to prepare for the discussion in the same way;
• Set ground rules for the discussion including options to take a break if emotions are getting high and to reconvene at a specified day and time;
• Don't make assumptions about what is happening in the other household– check in with curious questions;
• Stay curious, humble and open minded;
• Stay open to different ways to address goals and concerns,
• Offer thanks for the willingness to have the discussion even if it was bumpy or didn’t result in a shared commitment and say an even bigger thank you if compromises were made and a shared plan was achieved!
• Settlement professionals are here to help if you need it – engage a parenting mediator, collaborative lawyer or other trusted source to help you and your coparent have these discussions. Teleconferences and video calls are being offered by most settlement professionals. 

2. Best interest of the children (both a principle in most parenting plans and at law) includes:

• keeping children safe,
• keeping yourself safe,
• supporting the safety of the other parent, and 
• facilitating contact and relationship with other parent.
• NOTE: During COVID-19 pandemic, facilitating contact with other parent may require adjustment in each household to respect social distancing and safety issues. Many families are making compromises and sacrifices to close the contact loop in both houses to allow children to continue to benefit from the relationship with each parent.

3. Compliance with municipal, provincial and federal laws is expected. 
4. Compliance with recommendations of authorities is also expected. 
5. You may consider a temporary schedule adjustment that has more extended periods in each household such as is typical during the summer holidays to minimize the back and forth.
6. Contact between children and their parents through phone calls, Facetime, Skype, texts, snapchat, etc should be encouraged where possible.
7. Seven guidelines for parenting during COVID-19 released by AFCC - link below
https://www.afccnet.org/Portals/0/COVID19Guidelinesfordivorcedparents.FINAL.pdf?ver=2020-03-17-202849-133